Nerd Alert
by mataharitenshi
Summary: If you weren't a detective, and could be anything, what profession would you have favored?" Almost!Crack, very slight L/Light.


**Disclaimer: **So obviously _Death Note_ do NOT belong to me. Sadly, that right belongs to Takeshi Obata and Tsugumi Ohba.

**Nerd Alert**

They were taking one of their rare breaks.

Light stared at the odd man seated at the opposing end of the velvety red couch. The chain pooled on the cushion between them, coiling around itself like some strange metallic reptile.

Light took a sip of his tea and set the cup to rest back in the saucer cradled elegantly within his splayed fingers. He was glancing at L from the corner of his eyes curiously. L, as per usual, pretended not to notice anything was out of the ordinary while, in fact, he studied Light intently for serial killer-like habits.

"Ryuuzaki, do you enjoy being a detective?" Light asked abruptly. L considered the boy's behavior for a moment, but found that he only seemed genuinely interested. Of course the student was an accomplished liar, just as L himself was, and it was always worrisome that he was just tricking them all with those superb acting skills. L had a feeling they might be the death of him some day.

"It is odd that Light-kun would ask such a question," L began, Light looking like he was about to protest, "But, yes, I suppose in a way, I do enjoy my work. Cleansing the world of evil does bring a certain sense of accomplishment, don't you think, Light-kun?"

The brunet snorted, ignoring the intentional jab at his morals. No doubt his Kira percentage was rising 0.5% every second he spoke, or some other inane such number (_that L was probably just pulling randomly out of his ass anyway_). "What I was getting at though was, if you weren't a detective, and could be anything, what profession would you have favored?"

L's stoic face became a degree more serious, eyes focused intently on the small chocolate held in that careful, delicate way he had, betwixt an equally long and pale thumb and forefinger. Light could say many unflattering things about the eccentric insomniac (namely about his oral fixation and hypocritical opinions, oh and mustn't forget the rude behavior) but for an unknown reason he found that he particularly liked the man's hands out of possibly all the rest of the detective. They were so pale he could see the winding blue pathways that veins made down them and interestingly they were all sharp angles and odd contorted gestures. They were long and articulate, often causing him to speculate if maybe L would've made a talented artist or perhaps pianist... Could L play the piano? Light wouldn't be the least bit surprised; he could do everything else Light had seen flawlessly, so why not play the piano spectacularly?

L seemed to have taken a moment of thought to toy with his bottom lip, teeth incurring vicious wrath on his thumb as he came to a conclusion he found acceptable. "Time Lord," he said simply, plopping the tempting confection onto his tongue.

Light had decided to drain the end of his cup and promptly spit half of it back into the porcelain in surprise. "W– What?" He coughed out, trying to force the liquid back out of his windpipe, where, incidentally, the other half was trying to make its home in his lungs.

L nodded sagely, eyes as rounded and innocent as always. "No contest."

He received a vacant stare for his effort, Light gradually turning incredulous as he contemplated if L was being honest or just shitting him (hopefully the latter). He appeared sincere which made Light wonder at the man's sanity.

"Are you serious?" he gawked at the detective, "You want to emulate a fictional British television character?"

"Light-kun finds this surprising? Given the parameters, I find that, yes, I wouldn't mind. Not only did the Doctor have an exceedingly long life span, and the T.A.R.D.I.S. which in turn meant he could travel through time, but he also had travel companions. Light-kun already knows my job leaves little room for interaction."

Light sighed in exasperation. "I meant something _real _though."

"Light-kun did not specify that it had to be when he first stated the question. Also," he raised one finger in exclamation, eyes widening slightly with a childlike quality, "there is the added bonus of regeneration."

"But you did say Time Lord, so couldn't it have been any random being of their species, not just the Doctor, especially since he was half human?" Light asked, getting caught up in the strange conversation.

L leaned forward, face only a foot away from the college student's, toes wiggling and fidgeting together in front of him. "So Light-kun knows the story fairly well then?" He asked, smirking triumphantly.

Light blushed, carefully averting his eyes. He cleared his throat, setting the exquisite china on the coffee table. "We should get back to work," he said hastily.

_L – 1 _

_Light – 0_

_______________

**a/n: **Incidentally, this idea spawned late at night through a - _extremely odd goofy fuckin convo that I have no words for_ - and is in essence stolen form this awesome little movie the Brits did recently called _Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel_. If you haven't heard of it... shame on you. If you haven't watched it, GO NOW. I don't care how, just GO. XD I'd _so _side with L...

Review, if you feel so inclined.


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